In our contract negotiations with clients, Rob and I had become pretty proficient over the years in including options and terms we knew we could live up to. Working the terms of the agreement to our benefit before signing was a pretty standard procedure.
Much the same, we took a vow before God 30 years ago. We agreed on some terms to be fulfilled like: “for better or for worse.” Believe me, we stretched to both ends on that one. As for the other terms, the “richer or poorer” thing was a pretty easy clause to keep (we kept to the richer side) as was the “forsaking all others” (I thought he was pretty darn hot!).
Honestly, the “in sickness or in health” certainly gave us some challenges, but by far and away the “til death do us part” has been the most excruciating term of the contract for me to fulfill.
Even though we had an excellent marriage that abided by the Word of God on all sides, I never really fully considered how this is all was going to end. Divorce and affairs and abandonment are ends, but not successful ones (and certainly not painless ones). A happy wonderful marriage successfully ends with a “til death do us part”. That has been a thought I had never entertained. TBH, I don’t think there is a better way to end a marriage than by the “til death do us part”, but it certainly isn’t any less painful. Yet, I can only press on towards the goals that God has for me in my next season of life. I can only cling to the Word of God which assures me “that my LIGHT and MOMENTARY troubles are achieving for me a final glory which far outweighs them all.” He has a plan for me with a future and a hope. The best is yet to come and He will never leave or forsake me. He is the lifter of my head on this new road before me. #intentionalmarriage#contractfulfillment#ultimatewin
The “Den of Intimidation” got some new art pieces from Rob’s memorial. Jokingly named, the “Den of Intimidation”, this room was the place Rob spent a majority of the day. He surrounded himself with things he loved in there. Books, his warrior shield, photos of family on the wall, his shrine to his TCU graduate.
Sitting in this place and speaking with this great man of God was a privilege for many, including myself. As it says on the wall, “We sat side by side in the morning light and looked out at the future together.” Reading books together was part of our learning agenda. We were in the middle of @johnbevere ‘s Extraordinary. It was a joy to grow and develop with this extraordinary husband of mine.
Heaven rejoices with the presence of this faithful servant. Now his den of intimidation has become a place of comfort for us all. #welldone #wefeelyouhere
Rob Moore’s primary life language was Do-er. His chief aim each day was to get things DONE. As an influencer, he was great at getting you to DO what he could not. Even as he became disabled, he could DO MORE than most able-bodied men. Because his primary language was so frustrated by his disability, he grew his fluency in being a shaper, a producer, responder, contemplator and mover. I have never seen someone’s languages so compressed, yet the intensity so high. The reason he was so effective in communicating is that he would flow from language to language seemlessly.
Rob’s favorite book of the bible, James, talks of pure and faultless religion involving taking care of widows in their distress. (v1:27)
His heart of getting things DONE would have been moved to tears by the Mighty Men who came to complete the “Honey Do List” at his house for his widow in his absence. The men of our church (and even some women and children) were knocking it out and speaking his language!
They have shown themselves to be not only hearers of the Word, but Doers. (v1:22) and God will bless each one of them for it. (v1:25)
As Rob’s wife,
I am sending back a great big MAHALO to each one of them. His “honey DO” list was completely DONE and as the recipient of such love, I am completely UNDONE! I just wanted to say that I might not know all of your names, but heaven surely does. 😇🙌
I as I was getting ready to finalize a contract on the sale of the Lakehouse Rob and I renovated as our last project together, I began thinking…
I’ve entered into and finished many contracts in my life.
When I was 20, I had no idea that the vows of marriage would be the ultimate contract to finish. I made some intense promises in those vows thirty years ago. I agreed to love, honor, and obey. I vowed to forsake all others. 👰👰👰👰 👰 The term of the contract was until “death do us part”.
I did my part to stay in the contract and abide by all the terms and conditions . Usually both parties negotiate a win/win before they sign the contract, but if you think about it, the marriage vows don’t really set you up for a successful ending. In fact, the finalization of this contract has seems like the least win/win negotiation of my entire life.
The Bible talks about “counting your costs before building a tower”. This is one of those times I didn’t fully understand the cost of a marriage. Especially a truly wonderful one, the best relationship of my life. Although I wouldn’t change a thing, it doesn’t meet the completion any easier. One thing that I would have been like to been reminded of in my marriage contract: the joy and happiness comes along DURING the journey of the marriage, not at the end of it. When my marriage contract ended with the death of my husband, I regretted that the journey didn’t last a lifetime. But then I realized, “Ahhh, but it did. All the days of HIS lifetime.” 🏁🏁🏁🏁🏁 🏁🏁🏁🏁🏁 Rob, my gift to you, my Beloved is that you never had to live a day on this side of heaven without me.. And that makes my heart rejoice for I know it was your heart’s desire to go before me. Also my love, your journey carried enough suffering and sorrows. The joy of having your love and being able to love you for 30 years will carry me through the rest of my life. I celebrate you and our last project we truly completed together…our marriage! 🏡🏡🏡🏡🏡🏡🏡🏡🏡
“The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” 2 Chronicles 16:8 🎯. When I am feeling weak, I check my commitment levels. I ask myself, “what have I been committing my time too?” Has it been my schedule? Has it been my family? Has it been my church? Or is it the Lord? When my commitment is to the Lord everything seems to fall into place. It is then that I feel the most strong. So, how do I increase my commitment to the Lord? First of all, when I wake up I begin talking to him. All throughout the day I commit my way to him. I commit to reading his word in hiding it in my heart every day. I commit to him the first fruits of all of my increase. I commit to him my decisions and my plans. I listen to him and commit to be obedient to what he tells me to do. I find that just like any other relationship, it’s strength depends on my commitment. I feel strong today!
Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones. ~Thich Nhat Hanh #BeLoved#forever
This is Fred. He was in the hospital in A-fib (heart arrhythmia). He was the last person Rob got to go visit in the hospital. Making hospital visits was something Rob loved to do. People were receptive, open and willing to discuss life’s deep issues when confined to a hospital bed and facing their own mortality. Rob loved those type of serious real conversations. When he was with Fred, they had a great talk and Rob prayed for his restoration. Now, Fred is home, healed and blessed. Rob is too.
Ephesians 5:23: For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
As I shared yesterday, the first 10 years of my marriage, I struggled by fighting for leadership. The second 10 years I learned to lead from the middle and support my husband’s role as head of the wife. But in the last 10 years of my marriage I have learned the most important lesson yet:
How to lead from BENEATH.
During our middle years, I learned how to cuddle just under my husband and use my leadership to support his. We were unstoppable.
It is sad, but true, that in the last 10 years of his life his leadership capabilities diminished. Not just his ability to walk, but his memory, his ability to think on his feet and make decisions, and his small motor skills were all affected. It would have been a perfect time for me to step up and lead for us.
But God was very clear in letting me know, that even as my husband was slipping, it was time for me to GO LOWER to serve him wholeheartedly and not put myself above him.
Instead, I learned how to cover and support his gaps by having the children text him where they were going to be rather than relying on his memory, I always preserved his dignity and being able to care for himself, helping his skills by getting utensils and pens that were easier to hold and shirts he could button.
The decision-making was always laid out for him to make the ultimate choice even if I have to explain it multiple times. I never made him feel dumb when I had to repeat myself, or got frustrated with him for asking again.
I encouraged him in meeting weekly with guys from church (and even drove him) and traveling on Mighty Men trips with our pastor. These amazing men also made it hard for him to be weakened or anything less than the man he was called to be because they never treated him as a weakling or disabled.
When it would’ve been so easy for me to take over, I passed my greatest leadership test ever: I learned to go lower and lead from beneath. It was the most rewarding time of my life and the the time of Rob’s greatest ministry. If you have ever met Rob and I in person, I hope you never had a question of who wore the pants in our family. He might’ve been sitting down, but he completely filled them.