This is Fred. He was in the hospital in A-fib (heart arrhythmia). He was the last person Rob got to go visit in the hospital. Making hospital visits was something Rob loved to do. People were receptive, open and willing to discuss life’s deep issues when confined to a hospital bed and facing their own mortality. Rob loved those type of serious real conversations. When he was with Fred, they had a great talk and Rob prayed for his restoration. Now, Fred is home, healed and blessed. Rob is too.
Ephesians 5:23: For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
As I shared yesterday, the first 10 years of my marriage, I struggled by fighting for leadership. The second 10 years I learned to lead from the middle and support my husband’s role as head of the wife. But in the last 10 years of my marriage I have learned the most important lesson yet:
How to lead from BENEATH.
During our middle years, I learned how to cuddle just under my husband and use my leadership to support his. We were unstoppable.
It is sad, but true, that in the last 10 years of his life his leadership capabilities diminished. Not just his ability to walk, but his memory, his ability to think on his feet and make decisions, and his small motor skills were all affected. It would have been a perfect time for me to step up and lead for us.
But God was very clear in letting me know, that even as my husband was slipping, it was time for me to GO LOWER to serve him wholeheartedly and not put myself above him.
Instead, I learned how to cover and support his gaps by having the children text him where they were going to be rather than relying on his memory, I always preserved his dignity and being able to care for himself, helping his skills by getting utensils and pens that were easier to hold and shirts he could button.
The decision-making was always laid out for him to make the ultimate choice even if I have to explain it multiple times. I never made him feel dumb when I had to repeat myself, or got frustrated with him for asking again.
I encouraged him in meeting weekly with guys from church (and even drove him) and traveling on Mighty Men trips with our pastor. These amazing men also made it hard for him to be weakened or anything less than the man he was called to be because they never treated him as a weakling or disabled.
When it would’ve been so easy for me to take over, I passed my greatest leadership test ever: I learned to go lower and lead from beneath. It was the most rewarding time of my life and the the time of Rob’s greatest ministry. If you have ever met Rob and I in person, I hope you never had a question of who wore the pants in our family. He might’ve been sitting down, but he completely filled them.
I was a young wife and didn’t know any better. For the first 10 years of my marriage I used all of my skills of leadership to crush my husband’s spirit. He was destined to fail in leading me, because I never allowed him to. It wasn’t until the Lord showed me how to be undercover that I learned a great lesson: Although God has graced me with many skills for leadership, he had not given me that position.
God showed me that we could do far more together, with me supporting him with my leadership, than we ever could do with me in the lead.
Our second 10 years together we were unstoppable. I was the Robin to his Batman. I was the neck to his head. I was the one who was the wind beneath his wings. Our influence grew. Our ministry grew. Our parenting was blessed. And our marriage was highly anointed and favored. All my dreams came true when I died to myself.
If I could tell young married women one thing I would say, “Develop your self, but never forget the priceless position that God has given you with your husband.” Genesis 2:18 #completer #suitablehelper #hecouldntlivewithoutme #yourgreatnessisinyourunity
2 Samuel 6:22 “And I will yet be more vile than thus.” Do you get offended when someone steps on your toes with what seems to be a harsh criticism? Today in Rob’s bible I found this little gem in 2Samuel: “David would more and more abase himself before the Lord. He felt that whatever his wife Mishal’s opinion of him might be, it could not be more humbling then his own view of himself. I tell myself, ‘If any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him, for you are far worse than he thinks you to be. If he falsely accuses you on some point, be satisfied. For if he truly knew you better, he might justly increase the accusation. If you have your moral portrait painted and it is ugly, be satisfied, for it only needs a few more black touches, and it would be nearer to the truth.'” WOW. 😳 Thank you. When I find myself getting indignant over what someone thinks of me and how they are treating me, I will remember this: If they knew the whole truth of me, it could be so much worse. Yet God DOES know the whole truth and gives me mercy for it. What a wonderful Savior!
See his progressive happiness? LOL #buildyourhubby #heisyourhouse
May 10/2015: Scent, like music, evokes powerful memories. Long story short, I have been wearing the same perfume for 30 years in my marriage. It was a very unique to Hawaii perfume, and have not been able to get it … Continue reading
May 1/2015: Happy Lei Day! 🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺 . In Hawaii, May 1st is not only May Day but also Lei Day! Along with celebrations of flowers all over the islands, people also go out of their way to celebrate someone’s … Continue reading
April 23, 2015: On Rob’s 22nd birthday, I showed up at his place of work and asked him to get into the tuxedo. He willingly complied and I whisked him off to the airport. Boarding a plane to the mystery … Continue reading
Rob’s birthday week was always spent celebrating his mother. Her birthday was a few
days before his and he was always available to share the time to honor her. She was his absolute favorite person to call talk to every week of his life. She has been the most fabulous, supportive, loving mother-in-love that a girl could ask for and an amazing faith-filled grandmother (Mimi) to our children. This week I celebrate you, Katy!!! 😙😇 Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Rob’s mom who shares his birthday week! How wonderful to have a loving mother for every year of your entire life. Thank you for raising a respectful and honorable man who loved me so well.
Thank you for encouraging his leadership in the faith that was so central to the hope he had. Thank you for gracefully allowing him to join his earthly father, Stan, a little earlier than we were all ready to let him go. You shared more than a birthday week, you shared a mother/son bond that was and is truly inspiring. Thank you for EVERYTHING. I love you to pieces!!!
Happy Birthday week continues! This is Greg Knight. He and Rob shared birthday week with a camping party they called their “April Bash”.
Horseshoes, ATV riding, jet boat skiing and shenanigans were all part of the weekend. Greg’s wife Tami and I went along to keep things at a dull roar 🍻 If you know the story, Greg and Tami went on to have set of twins and then triplets (all in one year) to add to their son Preston John. Six kids under the age of three! The five multiples had red curly hair just like Greg’s. What a trip! #robjustsawthemlastyear #35yearfriendship
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. To honor favorite #Irishman, here is a replay of the tribute of his life…. Celebrate! and Enjoy his White Out Party as we celebrated his entrance into heaven with the angels.
https://vimeo.com/122272565 (Event starts at 9:38 in timecode)
Please feel free to share.
90 days ago one of the strongest pillars in my life was knocked out from underneath me. This “earthquake” shook my spiritual house just like the Hawaiian earthquake shook our house in this photo.
The last ninety days has taught me some things. I have learned that I can be shaken and not fall apart. I have learned that much like this lanai, I have many pillars holding me up –they are called my family of choice. And I have learned that the only unshakable thing is God himself. He is my “Always & Forever”.
He has taught me that during the earthquake is the best time to learn to hula.
New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings… ~Lao Tzu #hanginthere
February 14/2015: My construction worker boyfriend cut a heart-shaped piece out of red velvet and trimmed it with some lace. He then went to the Hallmark store and copied the words from a Valentine card onto a piece of stationery. … Continue reading
I find it wonderful that I was married in Paradise Valley. Even before I accepted Jesus, he led me to Paradise and gave me the best gift ever–a husband named Rob Moore. ❤️ Our dads are Stan & Steve. Our moms are Katie & Kay (and it is their middle name for both!) His sis & my bro are Darby & Derek. (Plus my twin sisters Missy & Mindy. Our sisters were married to Mick & Mark. Even our family dogs were both named Bernie. God went to an extraordinary length to assure me with supernatural markers and miracles that this was the man of my destiny. I had dated another boy all through high
school (my choice, not Gods) and had my heart broken. After some growing, God put Rob in my life. He wasn’t like my previous love. He was balanced, mature, strong, honorable and wouldn’t play games. I saw loyalty in action for 30+ years. I would not trade a day of drama/crazy/foolish infatuation with the kind of love we built. It was based on kingdom principles, steadfast trust and a shared vision and values. Word to the young: you don’t FIND a soulmate; you develop into one. #mineishangingwithJesus #igotworktodo #hewasalwaysthefavorite
Dec 13th, 2014 O Holy Night! It is Christmas time at the Cathedral of Frisco and Aaron Ell is singing. Rob, my husband, is down in front listening with tears in his eyes. Aaron is singing his favorite Christmas carol … Continue reading
December 14, 2015:
So incredibly humbled by the amazing amount of grace and empowerment from God upon our family this year. Thanks to every wonderful human who showered us with prayers, well wishes, gifts and time. If we are/were able to inspire, it is because you lifted us up in our lowest time. #mooredivinefingerprint #bestisyettocome.
“I don’t know what the future holds but I know WHO holds the future” ~Rob Moore #intentionalmarriage
This charming illustration captured my attention while surfing artwork at deviantART.com. It so completely disarmed and enchanted me that I had to write a book about it. I imagined a child wanting to lasso this Santa Claus. When a child sees needy girls and boys who don’t get presents from the magical St. Nick, it compels his/her to want to do something extreme to right the wrong. Perhaps even lasso Santa Clause and do some present redistribution? Maybe so. Coming soon……